Some years ago we decided that we didn't want any interference from a certain family of in-breds who live in a large house in London .Mrs Mooney said they were all nutters except that nice man who has large sticky out ears and talks to flowers .Anyhow we declared ourselves a Republic .This left us in a dilemma as we had to choose a President .I got a catalogue and we decided an English speaker would be best although there were one or two French ones who we thought would fit the bill. The one we chose after Holly's advice seems nice enough.Mooney says he reminds her of someone.Anyhow he's a lovely red-haired young man with a bit of a tendancy to visit Eire more than any other country but we have no objections at all . And I just adore their taste in colour . He is very bright which is a bit alarming and his English leaves a lot to be desired we smile at him but hardly understand a thing .He seems to have a rather stiff back and Mooney says that's not all .We bought him a rocking chair and a large medicine cabinet .He gets a bit lonely so has taken up with the village bore a woman over-keen on decorating .I said slap a bit of green paint on the old mayor's office and make do .She wanted to spend the entire town budget on a chair, I ask you ?
Things went badly when he decided he hated the Mayor of Purple Sprouting and sent a bus full of mad gung-ho types to invade them luckily they got off at the wrong stop and were all incarcerated in the town's old castle for months. He was quiet for ages but swapped them for a years' supply of plasters .We are keeping an eye on him and I am confused why he asks me if I have any trouble on the bus .His face fell a mile when I said "not unless my baguette sticks out" . I think he's bored again and has taken to sailing small boats on the pond getting them in Mr.Smithson's way .He's very competitive and added more sails than the scout group who are awaiting revenge. Mrs Mooney is visiting rather too much and I'm worried she sees herself as First Lady . Jackie Arbuthnut will only get jealous and hair will get torn .How too keep him busy? I came up with the idea to say we have a crisis with the drains sinking.He is sending in County troopers to look into the holes .