New girl in the village.

She did explain to us that she had been dead for some considerable time .Mooney chortled and assured her that is no barr to living in Cutting Sprout. I wanted to ask her what fool had painted her in yellow with her med. complxion and she said " Van Dyke" . Well we simply love him in "Diagnosis Murder" but probably his artistic skills are not the best.We are thinking of getting dear Rolf in . She is rather small so we found her our oldest cottage to live in .She is quite a wizz with the Madelaines for the W.I . Sadly she told us her father had been stabbed ,her husband be-headed and her youngest daughter poisoned .We think she should save her money on lottery tickets quite frankly. She has a rather thick accent too so is inclined to be mis-understood . Mr Misery saw her yesterday and started speaking in tongues or rather screaming in them .The word beginning with "W" that is not at all nice was flung at the poor child until Luzbal popped up and cuffed him hard on the nose.Poor darling said most English people re-act to her like that . Mooney assured her bigots get no pleasure here , we are all as weird as hell . As for faiths we have the lot . She might have to catch a bus to Purple Sprouting for the darling little Catholic Church there. Mooney and I bought her some pattens yesterday so she doesn't get her lovely dresses all filthy . she told us she used to be hopeless at housework but nearly 4 hundred years in Heaven teaches you all-sorts . I think she will a welcome bit of gaiety in the village. She put on a Masque at the Village hall last week but none of us had a clue what it was about . We could do with an artistic director for the theatre group she might do .