Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Things go horribly wrong at the fitness class at the Church Hall
Mrs Bagshott-Smythe runs a weekly health and fitness class at the church hall .We rarely go as Moony prefers a ciggy and a lay in an armchair and I prefer my bi-cycle.Mrs B is a terribly bossy woman but as poor Henny has curvature of the spine we must help. Harlot Harley always comes in the tightest lycra which explains why The President walks through at least ten times a session .It was so hard to persuade Henny into the communal changing room and the poor lass was terrified by Mrs B screaming "a corset ..we have no such thing here ,we are free spirits" . She then proceeded to pin her down and rip it off , Henny was bellowing " appelez un medecin" none of us is good at French except Harlot.She yelled "call a doctor, she's in agony" . Mrs B dragged her up and into the hall in her chemise and petticoats .Some soft classical music was put on and we were told to meditate Henny mumbled lots of religious stuff and Mrs B. got a whiff and stormed over . "We will have none of that superstitious nonsense here we believe in wood sprites thank-you".Luckily Henny didn't understand but asked me "are zey ze Puritans?" .I assured her that no they were Pagans and she burst into tears. Mrs B. started the movement element and noticing Henny's head turned to one side all the time roared over.Take her arms she ordered me and Moony as she dug a knee in her back and wrenched her head round to the front.The snapping noise scared us all Harlot rushed over ( she's a softie at heart) slapped Mrs B. and asKed Henny "Voulez vous une ambulance" .Henny had passed out again so Harlot and The President carried her to doctor D'eath .The President had back problems from carrying her but our wonderful doctor sorted them both out muttering about the damage done by "this new age non-sense" .