I shall be in the embroiderers gazette...

Isn't that quite exciting, ever since dear Bramwell began to work for them as their out and about reporter I've been confident that I would get a mention but I was scarcely prepared to get a four page spread. Its all been rather exciting, ones cushions have been photographed, can you imagine and i have been encouraged to share one of my graphs with their readers. I wish they'd told me they wanted a cross stitch graph straight away and feel such a fool for sending then that one of Brussels Sprout distribution in the outer Hebrides.... Ohh well. Still I thought it wasn't fair for my loyal readership here to be deprived of some of my lovely embroidery ideas so I've enclosed a free style pattern you'll adore, for some reason I can't persuade the shops to stock my tapestry kits.

A magical mystery tour for teeth....

This morning finding very little else to do (there's only so many times that one can weld bunnys muzzle back together) we decided to treat ourselves to a day out with Mrs Cox who had to pop to the hospital to let a man look at her gnashers. Poor dear if its not one end its the other as Ive told her many times before you are lucky you are not eight sided or imagine the trouble you would have. Such as enticing possibility a visit to their local hospital, not a bit like our lovely little cottage hospital although i did notice on the way out that they had borrowed one little hint from us. The phantom organist though at "Cutting Sprout General (ly not too bad)" we prefer he plays "nearer my God than thee" or a little number all our own "For those in peril off the sea" . Still they have two things which we are only too envious about, firstly the giant motorised buggy's of doom which hurtle out of nowhere straight at you driven by a squinting and ancient driver and secondly our even bigger favourite the great mystery tour of 'find your department'. This is a game best played in pairs for comparison and team building reasons and is surprisingly difficult due to the many dead ends, misleading arrows and something called the 'league of fiends ' (surely it shouldn't be allowed for them to form their own leagues, what next football teams?). Well we did finally find the department for Maxil something or other, why ohh why will they only treat you if your name is max? We were going to put that on the form but Mrs Cox wouldn't let us help her fill it in. I was disappointed by how few giant abscesses there were , Mrs Cox had one years ago that made her look like Winston Churchill we even asked her to speak at the W.I. I must say though what a lot of odd people! There were some right exhibitionists (not just Moony) and an awfully strange Menage a tois that arrived later on, clearly heavily into bondage and very shifty looking. Though I'm as broad minded as the next person but there are limits as I said to Moony who simply cackled and said "unlike him I suppose you'd have to say that he was a 'Broadmoor' minded as the next person!" .
I really don't understand her sometimes. Mrs Coxe's procedure sounds promisingly messy so I'll probably go back for that, I only hope there are not any more weirdos in on the day. On the way out we passed another 'league of fiends outpost so I told them just what I thought, they just looked innocent and puzzled. I suppose they think that in this day and age there are not any right thinking people left to oppose them, think again Fiends!!!